


Phantom Thieves Except No

by watershark04



Category: Among Us (Video Game), Persona 5
Genre: Also I wrote this in like a few hours help, Crack, Crackhead energy, Gen, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Other, Persona 5 Spoilers, Persona 5: The Royal Spoilers, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2020-09-23
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:55:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26614843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/watershark04/pseuds/watershark04
Summary: The Phantom Thieves play Among Us. Idk why I wrote this. I am but one tired gay who saw a concept and said sure.
Relationships: Akechi Goro & Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro & Takamaki Ann, Kurusu Akira & Sakamoto Ryuji, Niijima Makoto & Sakura Futaba, Okumura Haru & Sakura Futaba, Sakamoto Ryuji & Takamaki Ann
Comments: 11
Kudos: 181





	Phantom Thieves Except No

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah.  
> Idk either.  
> I literally have a work in progress I should be doing.  
> Why am I like this.  
> Concept based on a Twitter thread by @corviiid
> 
> Originally this was gonna have a couple more chapters but I've decided against it. I don't want to overdo it and make it bland, so hopefully a oneshot is satisfactory.

F0x: Are we in an elevator? What an interestingly grand design…

MissPanther: Just you guys watch, I am SO going to win this

SKÜLL: HA! In your dreams Ann, I already jammed 15 hours into this game!

MissPanther: Yeah, probably playing with kids who accuse the first name thrown out there

Queen: I apologise for interrupting, but I looked up the rules since this is my first time playing, and it seems you win with combined effort, yes? Teamwork is an integral–

chair-kun: How about we just throw ourselves in there and see what happens, hm? It’ll be fun!

Violentviolet: Uhh Senpai? What’s the deal with your username?

chair-kun: Those who get it will get it

SKÜLL: I’m more worried about YOUR name Sumi. What’s the deal with THAT?

Violentviolet: You’re supposed to murder everyone in this game right? I figured it would be funnily appropriate!

SKÜLL: Only if you’re the IMPOSTOR. VIOLET. YOU GOT SOMETHIN’ TO SAY?

-oracle-: Haven’t even GOT our roles yet and y’all already kinda sus

Noir!: Ooh we have randomly allocated roles? This is so exciting! I’ve never played an online video game before!

MissPanther: Alright can we start already?

F0x: I am controlling this cyan figure, correct?

CroW: If that is the colour you selected, then yes. Let us start, please

> **_Ann and Ryuji are the Impostors_ **

****

> **_Yusuke’s body (killed by Ryuji) is reported by Goro_ **

****

-oracle-: Wow that was fast

ViolentViolet: We’ve been playing for what, 30 seconds? Where’s the body?

CroW: In the hallway next to the medical bay

SKÜLL: How do you know that Akechi? Are you there?

CroW: I literally just reported it

SKÜLL: AH HA! How can you confirm you didn’t just self-report?

CroW: Because I am with Okumura-san and we both just witnessed you exit that corridor and jump into the air duct in the upper engine room

SKÜLL:

-oracle-: Damn, how many hours did you say you’ve sunk into this game again?

Noir!: Oh yes! Only the impostor is able to do that, right? Ryuji is the yellow one isn’t he?

chair-kun: Yeah get him out of here lol

> **_Akira, Ann, Futaba, Haru, Makoto, Goro, Sumire, voted for Ryuji_ **
> 
> **_Ryuji skipped voting_ **

****

> **_SKÜLL was ejected_ **

****

SKÜLL: WHAT?! ANN WHY’D YOU VOTE FOR ME? WE’RE SUPPOSED TO WORK TOGETHER!

SKÜLL:

SKÜLL: Wait–

> **_Makoto called an Emergency Meeting_ **
> 
> **_Goro, Futaba, Makoto, Akira, Sumire, Ann, Haru, voted for Ann_ **

****

> **_MissPanther was ejected_ **
> 
> **_Crewmates Win_ **

****

MissPanther: Seriously Ryuji?

SKÜLL: Whoops, sorry

MissPanther: I was gonna at least try to carry your dumb ass but then you blurted that out!

Violentviolet: That was much faster than I expected

Queen: Are you sure you’re good at this game Ryuji?

SKÜLL: Hey! Just because I’m loud and forget to think sometimes that doesn’t make me bad!

-oracle-: Kinda does actually. That’s exactly what to not do in this game

SKÜLL: W-Whatever, I’ll do better this time!

chair-kun: FYI, Morgana is rolling on the floor trying desperately to get it together, and saying that he could play better than you with his paws

SKÜLL: Oh yeah? Let’s see it then!

chair-kun:

chair-kun: Okay Morgana is playing this round, he’s changing my name

SKÜLL: Wait, for real? How?!

CroW: Actually you’d be surprised what that cat can do. He’s managed to play darts with Akira and I before…

ImpostorMona: I am NOT A CAT! Surely an observant detective like you, Akechi, will also realise that my overflowing charisma is too overwhelming to belong to a simple feline

-oracle-: Cursed. Delete yourself kitty

SKÜLL: Ha HA! You just got showed up, cat!

ImpostorMona: Try me and I’ll–

Queen: Enough already, let’s just start another game

> **_Haru and Futaba are the Impostors_ **

****

> **_About a minute and a half into the game, Goro calls an emergency meeting. Makoto and Sumire were killed by Futaba and Haru respectively, but not reported._ **

****

CroW: Okay, hear me out

MissPanther: This better be good Akechi. I was just about to fix the lights when you pressed that

CroW: Futaba is sneaky, but just messed up. I was making my way down the right hall from oxygen towards communications, and she joined my trek coming from weapons. She went into navigations. It was then that I realised I was meant to go to admin, but I had already begun the long route, so I stuck to it. When I got there, she was already in there. The only logical solution is that she used the ventilation in navigations to go back to weapons, then walked to the vent in the cafeteria and used it to make her way into admin for whatever reason before I arrived. The lights were out so I didn’t see exactly what she was doing but there could’ve been a body she just murdered that wasn't visible to me. Just in case there wasn’t and she was capable of murdering me I ran back up to the cafeteria to call this meeting

F0x: That is quite the wealth of information to unpack

-oracle-: I walked! It’s not THAT far!

CroW: Definitely too far for you to make it there before I did while going in the opposite direction

Noir!: Akechi-kun, how did you make such a deduction? You seem so confident your route was discernibly longer, and I can’t help but be curious as to how you know the ventilation system so well having been unable to use it…

CroW: I have the map layout right in front of me. I found it online. If you want to succeed you must think outside the box

-oracle-: Wait so you’re telling me you went out of your way to find the entire map so you can CONSTANTLY have it open by your side? AND it conveniently has the vent layout and directions marked out? Not gonna lie that’s kinda sus

CroW: I see what you’re trying to do here, but I’m afraid I have more definitive evidence against your case than you seem to be able to provide to clear yourself. Your days are numbered

-oracle-: Hold the phone detective, what was the last task you did?

CroW: Well it was going to be diverting power, which is why I was going to admin in the first place and caught you acting shifty. It’s clear you’re running out of arguments, as you just threw an essentially irrelevant point at me which I could answer anyway

> **_Goro voted for Futaba_ **

****

ImpostorMona: Yeah sorry Futaba, you’re way too sus

SKÜLL: Damn, Akechi did his research huh

> **_Morgana, Ryuji, voted for Futaba_ **

****

-oracle-:

-oracle-: Shit

> **_Yusuke, Haru, Ann, voted for Futaba_ **
> 
> **_Futaba voted for Futaba_ **

****

> **_-oracle- was ejected_ **

****

> **_Ann’s body (killed by Haru) is reported by Yusuke. Goro was killed previously but not reported._ **

****

F0x: Ann’s pink suit had a bone protruding from it, which I would assume means she has been killed

SKÜLL: Well, yeah Yusuke, you reported her dead body. You can only report a body if it’s dead. So where you at?

F0x: I believe I was in the lower engine. But I did not catch sight of anybody around

Noir!: Oh, goodness! Akechi has been killed as well!

SKÜLL: Things aren’t looking good for you Yusuke! You’re alone and two people are dead…

F0x: Where have you been then, Ryuji?

SKÜLL: Uhh mainly security. All my tasks are done

ImpostorMona: You’ve been in the security room all this time? That’s kinda sus Ryuji

SKÜLL: How?!

ImpostorMona: Not sure, I just wanted to say that

Noir!: Did you see any murders?

SKÜLL: Well… no, but–

ImpostorMona: Would you look at that! All this time in the security room to see nothing? I did have a point after all!

> **_Morgana voted for Ryuji_ **

****

SKÜLL: Hold up! The cameras only cover the hallways! That means NOTHING. What I would like to know is where Yusuke has been all this time…

F0x: I am still unaware of the basic layout of this place. I just made sure to check in particular where this body was before I reported it

SKÜLL: Uhuh, and can you give us any reason we should believe you when you could just be getting everywhere through the vents?

F0x:

SKÜLL:

F0x: I do not know how

SKÜLL: Bullshit. I call Yusuke. Super sus

> **_Ryuji voted for Yusuke_ **

ImpostorMona: Wait just a minute, you accuse everyone with nothing to go off of but a small suspicion. You sound desperate Ryuji…

F0x: I am displeased with your baseless assumptions, but I have no case I can make since I have been oblivious to just about everything

ImpostorMona: And tell me Ryuji… security is favourably close for you to the lower engine, right?

SKÜLL: Now you just–

Noir!: Oh, is that so?

SKÜLL: Wait a sec! Why are you three ganging up on me?

F0x: We are not. You are just a person of sus

> **_Yusuke voted for Ryuji_ **

****

SKÜLL: You’re gonna eff yourselves over! I’m not the impostor! And they only need one kill to win if you get rid of me!

> **_Haru voted for Ryuji_ **

****

Noir!: Sorry Ryuji! It seems this was for the best!

SKÜLL: Welp, we’ve lost

> **_SKÜLL was ejected_ **

****

F0x: Oh. The game is still going. We must be wrong

ImpostorMona: I have one task left! I will not be murdered and lose!

> **_Not long after, Morgana is killed by Haru_ **
> 
> **_Impostors Win_ **

****

Queen: Ugh! I pierced my hands with my nails by clenching my fists so hard when Haru appeared so innocent every time!

MissPanther: You’re crazy good for your first time, Haru!

Noir!: *giggles* That worked out in our favour so nicely! I can’t believe nobody ever suspected me!

-oracle-: Wow, I just got carried by a first-time player. Damn Akechi’s fault

Noir!: It was so satisfying to walk up to somebody standing at a wall and slit their throat! I had so much fun!

SKÜLL: You – you what?

Noir!: Oh nothing!

ImpostorMona: I can’t BELIEVE we were THAT CLOSE! And suddenly Haru comes out of nowhere. Unbelievable

CroW: That was quite the intense end to be watching

chair-kun: Okay I’m back. Can’t believe Morgana actually ended up one of the last ones. He doesn’t even have the conventional limbs to play this and lasted longer than most of you

SKÜLL: Morgana is the one who got me voted OFF the damn thing! That was bullshit!

Queen: Come on, let’s play another round. Remember this is a game of strategy, not indiv–

MissPanther: Yeah, yeah, let’s go

> **_Makoto and Futaba are the Impostors_ **

****

> **_Haru and Ryuji are killed in the same place at the same time, later reported by Sumire_ **

****

chair-kun: Wow we’re off to a somewhat rapid start

Violentviolet: Okay, I found both bodies in the left side of the cafeteria actually. Whoever did that, that was pretty bold

CroW: I can vouch for it not being Akira. Him and I have been in electrical and the lower engine the whole time

chair-kun: Yep that’s true, and Futaba saw us leave

-oracle-: That’s kinda sus though. It just so happens that a vent connects electrical to the medbay, and the medbay is directly beside where Sumire said she found the bodies…

Queen: Ah good point. You found the bodies both together, didn't you?

Violentviolet: Yes, I did

Queen: So this must’ve been a double kill. I’ve only been alone so far…

MissPanther: Yep, same!

F0x: I was as well, in the communications department

-oracle-: I found Akira and Akechi together, I was by myself too

Violentviolet: And Akechi-san jumped to Akira-senpai’s defence pretty quickly

CroW: Wait just a moment! How can we be sure the two players who executed this move didn’t run in opposite directions afterwards?

chair-kun: Or it could’ve been done by the same person! Has anyone actually passed through the cafeteria since the start of the game? The same impostor could’ve easily murdered the second person before they could report the body! I know sometimes the report icon doesn’t work on the first click

Queen: I passed through the cafeteria actually. I saw nobody else, and no bodies were there

CroW: Oh really? Why was that?

Queen: To go to shields for the asteroid task

MissPanther: Sorry boys! You’re way too sus

CroW: This is unbelievable. It was a coincidence! We were not–

-oracle-: Where’s your extensive evidence now, MR DETECTIVE? Off with his head!

> **_Futaba, Ann, Makoto, Yusuke, Sumire, voted for Goro_ **
> 
> **_Goro voted for Makoto_ **
> 
> **_Akira voted for Sumire_ **

****

> **_CroW was ejected_ **

****

F0x: Splendid. Now we must get rid of Akira’s sus. Much of it belongs to him

-oracle-: You have no clue how to use that word Inari

> **_Futaba called an Emergency Meeting_ **

****

chair-kun: Now let’s not be hasty–

Violentviolet: Can you prove your innocence, Senpai?

chair-kun: Yes! Surely! The first thing I did was go to navigations for a task, and then–

-oracle-: What task?

chair-kun: Charting the course

MissPanther: Bullshit, I passed by and you were standing there wayyy too long to actually be doing the task

chair-kun: It was slipping from my mouse’s grip! I promise you th–

Queen: That story doesn’t line up with how you were in electrical with Akechi. AND Futaba saw you both there so…

chair-kun: That’s where I went AFTERWARDS after collecting fuel from storage! I ran into him after I left navigations and then we–

F0x: You’ve been alone with Akechi since essentially the beginning of the game?

chair-kun: Well, yeah but–

-oracle-: Sus as fuck. Get him out of here

> **_Makoto, Futaba, Sumire, Yusuke, Ann, voted for Akira_ **
> 
> **_Akira skipped voting_ **

****

> **_chair-kun was ejected_ **

****

Violentviolet: Huh? We’ve continued! How was it not them?

F0x: We have eliminated at least one of our own crewmembers for nothing. This is troublesome

-oracle-: No worries, we’ve still got this!

MissPanther: I’m genuinely stuck now. Who else could it even be

Queen: Discuss later, we have to mute!

> **_Sumire’s body (killed by Futaba) is reported by Futaba_ **

****

-oracle-: Dead body. Found it in O2. Inari scampered his way down the hall as I was going up

MissPanther: Well, that was very clear. Bye Yusuke!

> **_Ann voted for Yusuke_ **

****

F0x: Preposterous! You jumped to that conclusion far too quickly. I was on my way to admin!

Queen: To do what?

F0x: Swipe the card, I believe

MissPanther: What were you doing in oxygen then, Yusuke?

F0x: I pulled the rubbish handle. Futaba must have self reported

MissPanther: Futaba could you explain yourself?

Queen: Futaba did nothing out of the ordinary. Having finished my tasks, I was in security. The body was reported the moment she disappeared into the oxygen room. I had a suspicion of her so I was watching her

-oracle-: That’s true, I was checking around the place because I have also finished my tasks. It’s gotta be Inari

F0x: This is unacceptable!

-oracle-: tHis iS uNnACcEpTAbLe

> **_Futaba voted for Yusuke_ **
> 
> **_Yusuke voted for Futaba_ **

****

Queen: Well, I think I’ve heard enough. And we have reached a verdict!

> **_Makoto voted for Yusuke_ **

****

> **_F0x was ejected_ **
> 
> **_Impostors Win_ **

****

-oracle-: POGGERS

SKÜLL: I was PULLING my HAIR OUT

MissPanther: Oh no, I was almost constantly on their side. I feel kinda guilty now…

Queen: *laughing* I believe you all just got outclassed! I had been trying to say this whole time it’s a matter of teamwork…

CroW: You managed to get the upper hand in each discussion, and worked your way to the win. Well played

Violentviolet: Oh come on, you two are a power team!

MissPanther: We should start looking at the bigger picture more instead of focusing all accusations on what seems to be the most convincing story or evidence at that moment

chair-kun: …Literally what I was trying to get you to do

CroW: I second that

F0x: I regret not thinking. But I am still draped with salt over that last discussion

SKÜLL: Uh… did you just try and use that eccentric-ass language of yours to say you’re salty?

F0x: Simply saying ‘salty’ sounds quite bland

Noir!: Ooh, I wonder who the impostor combination could be next round! I feel like Akechi-kun and Mako-chan would make an intelligent combination

-oracle-: SHUSH! Don’t give the algorithm ideas!

SKÜLL: If that happens I will DEADASS JUST QUIT


End file.
